Who is in your home? You won’t see them!

A mother was having a great deal of difficulty with a daughter in college. The daughter was failing in school and decided to come home for the weekend just to spend some time away. The family was relieved and planned all kinds of activities to make her feel welcome and yet be reminded of the values of the home.

As the family all gathered together for a meal with other brothers and sisters and their families, the group noticed a sudden shift in attitude with the daughter. Where she was laughing and enjoying herself a half hour before, now she was depressed, giving short answers, and the whole room was being affected. The dinner atmosphere had gone from a family get together to a tense, worried atmosphere. Why? Soon the mother realized there was someone else in the home that was unseen but still creating nothing but pain. There were texts going back and forth throughout the whole morning but not really being noticed. Texting goes on all the time, after all.

Who had entered their home? Well, it was actually several, the mom found out. One was the boyfriend that the daughter was trying to break up with; the other were some friends who wanted her to go out and party with them. This was the world their daughter was joining and one of the reasons her grades were failing. It had followed her right into her parents’ home and, though invisible to everyone else, was having a terrible impact.

How often does that happen? Who is in our house late at night? We need to have “shut down” times in our homes. It is possible. I know parents who have a rule that all phones are in a basket by a certain time in the evening. Phones don’t go into the bedrooms. I know other parents who check their kids’ phones, messages, etc. As parents we would check and monitor their computer activity, or at least we should. Why not our phones?

On one occasion, a parent was angry because her daughter was receiving texts from a fellow student at 4 a.m. and wanted the school to do something about it. The principal told the parent to take the phone from their daughter, shut it off and that would end the problem. The parent was furious and said it wasn’t their responsibility to stop this and argued it was and is the other parents’ responsibility. Yes, it would be nice if the other parents would realize what was going on and perhaps they could find a way to let those parents know, but the school is not the parents of our children. You don’t want schools to become your kids’ parents!

Each family has to be creative in its own way to handle these problems, but one thing is for sure – we do have influences in our homes like never before. What is wonderful on one side is frightening on the other side. Perhaps it is a good idea to have “No texting or phones during dinner” or after a certain time in the evening.

Adults can be just as bad. We went to eat at the Red Lobster one evening and watched an entire table of young and older adults all texting. Very little conversation took place, but a lot of communication was going on with the unseen. It isn’t all bad, but we aren’t really with each other in much of our communication today. There is something precious being lost.

Technology is wonderful for sure. But it has its hazards and we need to be watchful both with ourselves and our families. Talk about it together as a family and come up with some boundaries after discussing not only the hazards but also the need for quiet times. There is a point where even our God has told us, “Be still, and know that I am God.” We all have to have those times just to get to know God, which of course helps us in all areas of our lives.